Disruptive. Distracted. Dreamer.

So… why did I just spent the last month building a free-to-use web app that costs me money to run? The honest answer takes a hot minute, so strap in.

At 36 years old, with the support of my amazing wife, I finally put a name to the way my brain works. ADHD, diagnosed in adulthood, after over three decades assuming everyone's head felt like mine, and that other people were just better at dealing with it.

I know this isn't a unique story. Far from it. Everyone is on the same sliding neuro-spicy scale. And don't worry, this article isn't going to be an inspirational transformation story, pretending I'm some sort of guru with all the answers. What I did learn through my diagnosis is that there was nothing needing to be fixed. Because nothing was broken. A weight lifted. And it finally answered questions I'd stopped asking.

Why my school reports all said the same thing: Disruptive. Distracted. Dreamer.

Why I failed traditional academic tests, but aced my Bachelor of Arts.

Why my ideas often arrive in the 'wrong' place, at the 'wrong' time.

Why I could build a company from scratch, but not sit through a single meeting.

Monster Valley was my creative studio in Auckland, which I ran for over twelve years. I employed staff, produced thousands of commercial videos, hundreds of live events and gigs, released quarterly physical zines, launched an indie record label, ran an art gallery, design store, podcast studio... all with no plan, no budget, no strategy deck. Just a fast brain in a context that happened to suit it.

Two years ago I moved to Sydney and worked as the Creative Director inside the global Omnicom Group. I learned a huge amount and met some great people. But I also learned something about myself. My brain does its best work in a different kind of context.

So I left, and have spent the last few months freelancing, discovering new places on my motorbike, filling notebooks, chasing new ideas, and asking why.

Ride a bike too slowly and it falls over. The speed is what holds it up, keeps it steady, makes it easy to control. Fast brains work the same way. Force them into the slow lane and they wobble.

So I stopped trying to ride in someone else's lane. This is what I'm going to spend the next while on. Not building another studio. Making tools, sharing ideas, and building a brand around disruptive, distracted dreamers.

I've called it Speedskull. Why? Fast brains. Quick thinkers. In a disruptive decision five years ago, I walked by a tattoo studio and picked out an old-school Bert Grimm biker tatt to fill a gap on my arm. Three years later I'm riding through Sydney, stopping to jot down ideas in my notebook, casually distracted by the permanent scribbles on my arm. I wrote down 'Speedskull', circled it, and dreamt up pages of new ideas.

So, maybe unsurprisingly, the first tool I've just released is a web app called Idea Download. I was tired of losing ideas in endless notebooks and then feeling guilty for not making a plan or sharing it with someone who will. It's helped to clear my head of that 'wrong place, wrong time' spiral. Pulled over on a ride, for example. Save ideas quickly, search for them later, or share them straight away. There's no 'likes' and no algorithms. Ideas are shown chronologically, because that just makes sense.

Right now would be the perfect time to roll out another 'standard launch playbook', and tell you what an amazing response Idea Download has had in the last 7 days, that global interest has been incredible, and everything is far exceeding any expectations I originally had.

But the truth is, only 38 people have signed up. Almost all of them are my friends and family. Weekly use is light. Daily use is even lighter. And this is the part I'm apparently supposed to hide? Again, I ask why. It's not who I am, how I think, or who I want to be. No more hiding.

Which brings me back to the original question. Why did I just spend the last month building Idea Download?

For the same reasons you're still reading.